6. Views From the Halls

Views From the Halls

One evening, I observed my beloved queen in a state of slight distress. The damn suitors were intentionally creating a raucous to harm her will to live. They did not want to marry her, they wanted sex, money, riches. They are men, purely men. They do not care about feelings, but merely feeling good. What they are doing, it is not right, but men will be men, and all I can do is trust that my queen will not succumb to their misleading promises.

Some of the suitors begin to stare directly at her, grimacing cunningly as if insinuating something. I sensed an immediate danger, although there had already been one the second they entered the kingdom. By being a women, I was more scared for the protection of the other maids then I was myself.

These men, these obnoxious pigs, began stomping their feet and laughing. They knew it harmed the queen and without Odysseus by her side, there was nothing she could do about their actions. The men had no sense of respect in their confined hearts, they did not feel emotion, they ate like cattle and slept like dogs. How could a woman ever like this treatment, especially a prominent queen.

Queen Penelope ordered us kindly to tend to the men and to bring more meat to suit their likings. As I walked, I felt the sweaty and mangled hands of the men grab my behind and squeeze forcefully. I spoke nothing, and continued on my way, however I made sure to quicken as to relieve myself from the especially barbarous suitors. Once I reached the end of the table, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath inwards as I turned around and followed my path back. Although it was humiliating, I needed to please Penelope for she had worked with us for every moment after Odysseus’ departure.

A suitor abruptly stood up, one of the barbaric ones I assumed, and pointed his fingers at Penelope. He kept a leather strap around his head which prevented his dark brown hair from entering his vision. Remarks of all sorts spewed from his mouth and my beloved queen looked down, however she did not appear despaired. I noticed a smile emerge across her milky white skin, maybe she to did not see the true inhumane nature of the suitors.

1. The first change I made was writing the original story from the view of a maid. This allowed the reader to perceive the situation from a view that is slightly different from Penelope’s which revealed the different views the two characters possessed.
2. The second change was to remove the second to last stanza and merge it with the last, where I did not believe the maid would have received as much descriptive detail on the suitor because she did not personally encounter him and would ultimately have a less vivid description of the man.
3. The final change was to have a reoccurring theme of comparing men to animals, where because the maids were accustomed to tending to dirty and difficult labor that included working with animals and therefore the maid viewed the men as equal to them.